Face your fears

I'm afraid of sharp things such as knives or glass because I tried to kill myself by cutting. But I was also afraid of the man who raped me. Every time I closed my eyes I would see him..but after awhile I got tired of it. So yesterday I drew a picture of him, then said "You can't hurt me anymore. I'm not afraid of you." then I tore the picture into a million little pieces and threw it away. After I did that, I was exhausted. I also felt relief and happiness. So I no longer fear him and I can sleep at night knowing he won't come for me or scare me.
Lesson for the week: Face your fears or they'll haunt you forever.

Rosie

NYC Baby!

Hehe. ^_^ I'm in New York for thanksgiving. It's so beautiful here. It makes me happy to be with my family and especially my cousin who's like a sister to me. I feel I can open with her and she won't judge me.
Finding someone you can trust and love is a little more support to get through whatever your going through. And if you can't, that's ok. Because the Lord and family is always there. Happy gobble week my fellow lilys of chastity.

Rosie

My favorite band doing something awesome ^_^

Hear no Evil. See no Evil. Speak no Evil.

                           Rosie

Emo heart

I love this. ^_^

The Happiest I've Been

I can officially say that I'm happy. :) I have good grades in school, my relationship with my mom and sister and brother are better then they've been in a long time, I and my boyfriend got back together and our relationship is amazing once again, I'm going to New York in a few weeks, I have more freedom and space, I'm treated like an adult for once, I'm still stressed out and tired but it's worth it because I take care of my family and they don't make me feel like Cinderella anymore. So, I'm happy. ^_^ No more tears, or worries, or loneliness, or fears. This is just a small update but in a way it's a big one for me.
  Lesson of the week : Don't give up hope. God doesn't give you anything you can't handle.
My prayers and support are with you fellow Lily's of Chastity. <3

                                Rosie

Pain

Remember in my other post I talked about a certain person who helped me get through fighting for my freedom and fighting my pain and past? Well, he's my best friend and ex-boyfriend. Yes, I said ex..he broke up with me today and it hurts so much..especially since he's my best friend. Because I'm still talking with him and every time I do I remember that he broke up with me. The reason why he broke up with me is ridiculous but, I've already forgiven him. That's the first step to getting over your pain and sorrow. Forgiveness. If you don't forgive then you can't move on because your stuck in the past. I had to forgive the man who raped me so I could move on with my life and follow my dreams. I have to forgive my father every time he hits me or my stepmom. Because if I don't then I would hate him and hate is another way of being stuck in the past. I have to forgive the kids who use to bully me and the "Men" who would sexually harass me because if I don't then I'd feel worthless.
As for the second step to let go of your pain? You have to figure that out for yourself. It's different for everyone. Good luck fellow Lilys of Chastity. My prayers are with you.
                
                                        Rosie

Finding comfort :)

The richest man (or woman) is the man (or woman) who finds pleasure in the cheapest things. ~ Unknown

 

I'm a minimalist so I don't need much to live on. And also to find joy in. I can find joy in the smallest of things. Like, Pocky, colorful socks (like my orange ones I'm wearing right now.), music, writing poetry in my head or on paper, singing, hoodies that smell like my boyfriend/best friend, playing with my dog or my kitty cat, talking on the phone with my boyfriend or my cousin, and watching movies with my mom till 3 in the morning. 

  Finding happiness in the small things means when you find happiness in something bigger you'll be devoted to it and want it so more then anything. So, you'll fight for it. 

  Fighting for what makes me happy has helped me on my journey to my dream. In one of my last post I put that someone has helped me fight against my pain and my past. But something he told me once is "I'm not always going to be there to hold your hand, sweetie. I will always support you but, you have to learn to fight for yourself." And, so I'm learning how to fight for myself. That's a major step on my journey to my dreams and to over coming what happened to me so many years ago. 

 The people who love and support you will always do that if their sincere. But you have to fight for your freedom fellow lily's of chastity.

                          

                                 Rosie